We underestimate the power of appreciation. We are all under so much pressure, it is natural that we focus on what’s next and what we can do better. Yet we can take time to reflect on what has happened – the past efforts, achievements and successes. Appreciation is a way to see people and to recognise their contribution. Appreciation motivates. It stirs. It’s not just for leaders and human resource professionals – it’s for everyone. Appreciation – The power of a humble “Thank you”
One of my favourite quotes from early psychologist William James:
“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”
Appreciation enhances emotional health
As a therapist, I regularly see how the lack of appreciation – as a child or an adult – can be the source of emotional pain and the foundation of mental health issues.
Gratitude and appreciation are powerful tools for enhancing wellbeing that fosters positive emotions and reduces stress.
The appreciation rule
The “5 to 1 appreciation” is a rule of thumb suggesting that for every one instance of criticism or a negative interaction, there should be at least five instances of positive interaction or appreciation.
The idea was made popular by psychologist Dr John Gottman’s research on relationships. This “magic ratio” is used to build emotional resilience, foster positive relationships and improve performance in settings like marriage, parenting and the workplace. You can learn about Gottman: The Gottman Institute | Relationships
The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science
Five ways to show appreciation
Each person has a primary language through which they most effectively receive and feel valued.
There are five ways to show appreciation:
Words of Affirmation – Express appreciation through spoken or written words. This can include compliments, positive feedback, or written notes of thanks, and is most effective when it is specific and genuine. Giving feedback in professional relationships – Kim Tasso
Acts of Service – Help colleagues by performing tasks to lighten their workload. This can involve helping with a difficult project or taking on a task that has been a struggle for someone else. Or simply to show that they are not alone and they are a valued part of the team.
Gifts – Thoughtful, non-monetary gifts can symbolize appreciation. These don’t have to be expensive, and often symbolic or personalized items carry the most weight. A cake or coffee. A fun little desk toy. A frame for a photo of a pet or child or team event.
Quality Time – Give undivided, personal attention to an employee. For example, initiate a meaningful conversation, make a one-on-one check-in, seek their views on a project or spend time in a shared activity.
Physical Touch – Appropriate gestures like handshakes, pats on the back, or high-fives that convey warmth and acknowledgment. This is often the most sensitive language and should be used with caution and awareness of workplace appropriateness and the law
The 5 Languages Of Appreciation At Work Forbes article April 2022 – considering the book:
The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People by Gary Chapman and Paul White (2011)
Appreciation creates psychological safety
Psychological safety is the absence of interpersonal fear. Feeling psychologically safe allows people to perform their best. What is psychological safety? | McKinsey. Appreciation can help build psychological safety.
Appreciation enhances creativity
Appreciation can improve thinking and creativity.
In The Ten Components – Time to Think psychologist Nancy Kline argued that the human mind works best in the presence of appreciation. She identified the 10 components of a thinking environment:
- Attention
- Equality
- Ease
- Appreciation
- Encouragement
- Feelings
- Information
- Difference (and diversity)
- Incisive Questions
- Place
“The quality of everything we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do first. The quality of our thinking depends on the way we treat each other while we are thinking”
It is about noticing what is good and saying it.
Kline commented that in life we learn that to be appreciative is to be naïve, whereas to be critical is to be realistic. In discussions, therefore, we focus first, and sometimes only, on things that are not working. Consequently, because the brain requires appreciation to work well, our thinking is often misleading.
Appreciation can change your organisational culture The 5-to-1 Appreciation Ratio That Will Change Your Team Culture
Appreciation fuels motivation
Most people are familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and its impact on motivation.
At the fourth level in Maslow’s hierarchy (esteem needs) is the need for appreciation and respect. Once the needs at the bottom three levels have been satisfied, the esteem needs begin to play a more prominent role in motivating behaviour.
At this level, it becomes increasingly important to gain the respect and appreciation of others. People have a need to accomplish things, then have their efforts recognized. In addition to the need for feelings of accomplishment and prestige, esteem needs include such things as self-esteem and personal worth.
People need to sense that they are valued by others and feel that they are making a contribution to the world. Participation in professional activities, academic accomplishments, athletic or team participation, and personal hobbies can all play a role in fulfilling the esteem needs.
People who are able to satisfy esteem needs by achieving good self-esteem and the recognition of others tend to feel confident in their abilities. So appreciation increases confidence. Conversely, those who lack self-esteem and the respect of others can develop feelings of inferiority.
Appreciation for clients and referrers – to build loyalty and recommendations
And it’s not just colleagues and employees who benefit from appreciation.
Clients like to feel appreciated – and thanked for their continued support. They feel seen and valued. It builds loyalty.
And people who recommend you or refer their clients to you need to be thanked and appreciated. Why would they recommend again if they receive no acknowledgement or thanks? Appreciation helps build the relationship and can trigger the reciprocity effect further.
Statistics about the power of appreciation and recognition
If you still need convincing about the power of appreciation – check out some statistics:
- Recognition reduces staff turnover
- 69% of employees say recognition and rewards would keep them in their current job Source – Achievers
- 53% of workers say they would stay longer in a company if they feel appreciated Source – Glassdoor
- 63% of employees who feel recognised are unlikely to look for a new job Source – SurveyMonkey
- Impact of rewards and recognition on employee performance
- Workers who feel heard at work are 4.6 times more likely to perform their best Source – Forbes
- 92% of workers are more likely to repeat an action they’ve received recognition for Source – Springworks
- A good recognition program can help drive an 11.1% average increase in team performance Source – Gartner
- 81% of employees would work harder if they felt more appreciated Source – Glassdoor
- 32% of employees prefer to receive affirmation over gifts or money Source – Bonusly
Send flowers
Call me old fashioned, but sometimes you need to go beyond saying “Thanks” with a text, email, card or shout out on social media.
On occasions, I arrange to have flowers sent to say “Thank you”. It isn’t expensive. And it’s unlikely to break any bribery laws. But the impact is usually significant and positive. And it is remembered.
Other resources on employee appreciation and recognition
The Little Things That Make Employees Feel Appreciated Harvard Business Review, 2020
Employee Recognition: What It Is, How to Do It Right, and Different Ways To Do It | Great Place To Work® August 2025
Related links on appreciation
Improve mental health at work, in marketing and for women September 2025
Internal Communications – Employee listening – Kim Tasso February 2025
Change challenges – Culture, Communications and Clutter December 2024
fixed views and closed to new ideas (dealing with stubbornness) July 2024
Change Management – Ted Lasso leadership lessons, emotions May 2024
What do you do when your boss is a micro-managing control freak? March 2024
Why are questions so important? (Questioning skills) February 2024
Employee Communications and Alumni Programmes August 2023
Dr Julie Smith (Mental Health Guidance) July 2023
Book review: Influential Internal Communication by Jenni Field September 2022
How to facilitate groups – 2 (Herding cats in professional services) January 2022
Dealing with “difficult” people – Nine strategies for dealing with arrogance June 2021
Resources to help you deal with difficult interactions February 2021
Soft skills: Introduction to coaching – Three frameworks June 2020
Book review: Legacy – What the All Blacks can teach us January 2020
Future Marketing Manager – Eight steps to manage virtual teams November 2019
Change management and Employee engagement April 2019
Managing teams and virtual teams – 13 top tips – Kim Tasso May 2016
Client perspective – empathy and emotional intelligence January 2011
