Resist the temptation to provide instant answers (Coaching

February 9, 2026|Accountants, Kim's Blog, Lawyers, Management Skills, Marketing, Relationship Management|

At the recent PM Forum – PM Forum training workshop on “Coaching and Consulting skills for marketing and business development professionals” we spent time considering key coaching and consulting skills and processes. Zip your lip – Resist the temptation to provide instant answers (Coaching and Consulting Skills)

During introductory discussions, three key themes emerged from the delegates

Our firms are experiencing multiple and accelerating changes (e.g. ownership, structure, business models, digital transformation, regulatory change and reporting requirements)

Marketing and business development professionals have to do more (often with less resources) and demonstrate a return on investment (See delegate aims below)

We need to shift from being an expert with all the answers to a more advisory role where we help people find their own solutions – whether coaching or consulting Transition from technical expert to adviser

Resist the temptation to always provide an instant answer

We wouldn’t expect a lawyer, accountant or surveyor to always have an instant answer to every question. They might need to speak to a colleague who is a specialist in a different area. They might need to check the latest legislation or regulations. Or they may need time to collect data and analyse the problem. Or to seek the views of and confer with multiple colleagues.

People may feel uncomfortable if you put them on the spot and seek an immediate answer. They may need time to reflect.

One delegate observed: “I often feel the pressure to have all the answers immediately, but that is pressure I put on myself”.

We are the experts in marketing and business development. But this doesn’t mean that we have to have instant answers to every question. We must become comfortable sometimes saying “That’s a good question – I’ll look into it, do some research and have a think – and come back to you shortly”.

Sometimes – particularly in a coaching or consulting scenario – we need to ask further questions when someone asks for advice. Whilst it can be frustrating when someone answers a question with a question, it does allow you to obtain a deeper information on which to base a more considered answer.

“An expert is not someone who gives you the answer, it is someone who asks you the right question”. – Eliyahu M. Goldratt (Physicist, business management consultant and author)

Coaching – Help others to find their own solutions

“Coaching is a process that helps and supports people manage their own learning in order to maximise their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be” Eric Parsloe

“Coaching is a conversation, or series of conversations, that one person has with another. What distinguishes the conversation from any other is the impact the conversation has on the person being coached (the coachee)” Book Review: The Coaching Manual by Julie Starr – Kim Tasso

“A facilitative or helping relationship with the purpose of achieving some type of change, learning or a new level of individual or organizational performance” Helping people change: Coaching with compassion

Coaching facilitates or helps people learn and change. So are we helping when we provide an instant answer and tell them what to do? Nope. If we tell people what to do, they are most likely to resist. We talked about the different energies in push and pull communications.

Coaching processes concentrate on questions. We ask questions that help the person think of solutions for themselves. This helps them develop and it builds their confidence and sense of achievement.

So skilled coaches will know the right sorts of questions to ask to help the person formulate their own ideas. No matter how tempting, they will resist the temptation to tell someone what to do. And focus on helping the person find their own solutions.

Consulting – Facilitate discussions to reveal complexity and perspective

“A consultant is a person in a position to have some influence over an individual, a group or an organization but has no direct power to make changes (organizational, structural, policy or procedural in nature or people learning something new) or implement programmes” Peter Block Consulting skills 2 – Book review: Flawless Consulting by Peter Block

“The consultant’s primary purpose is to enable the client to figure out and make sense of what is really worrying her, what is really on her mind”.Edgar Schein Consulting skills 3 – Book review: Humble Consulting by Edgar h Schein

It is similar in consulting. Yes, we expect consultants to be experts. But consultants recognise the significant expertise and experience of those who seek help from them. And acknowledge that those seeking consultancy help will usually know their business and market better than any consultant.

Consultants resist the temptation to offer instant answers. Offering an instant solution might be seen negatively – it belies your expertise and may give the impression that you don’t appreciate the specific needs of that client. Problems – and their solutions – are always more complex than first appears. Asking more questions – to really grasp the issues – is often the better route.

Several delegates shared the sentiment expressed by one: “I enjoyed hearing other people’s perspectives”. So it is when consulting for a group of people – help them articulate their views and compare them with their colleagues.

Consultants do their research, apply models and frameworks and facilitate productive conversations with incisive questions. An incisive question is designed to challenge and reveal limiting assumptions that restrict thinking and decision-making. Questions help obtain value from all the different perspectives and tap into the “hive mind” to forge the best solution.

One of my favourite psychologists – Nancy Kline (who wrote “Time to think”) – said “Advisors who know how to generate incisive questions to free their client’s mind from untrue limiting assumptions hold a key to creating the best plan”

The power of facilitating discussions is why workshops are one of the main tools in the consultant’s armoury Consulting Skills – The power of workshops – Kim Tasso

Reflection – Give yourself time to reflect, research and think

You need time to assimilate and process what you have learned. And how it might be applied in practice. And what potential solutions might be relevant.

Reflection is a key part of learning and coaching Boost training effectiveness by incorporating learning theory

It’s the same when you learn about the needs and challenges of your fee-earners. Don’t be tempted to provide instant answers. Give yourself time to reflect.

The power of questions

Some inspiration to encourage you to shift from instant answers to more questions:

“Questions are infinitely superior to answers” Dan Sullivan

“So in a world where everyone is competing with their answers, how do you differentiate yourself from everyone else? With a question” Dan Sullivan

“The answers are all out there, we just need to ask the right questions” Oscar Wilde

“Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers” Voltaire

“The ability to ask questions is the greatest resource in learning the truth” Carl Jung

“Find the right questions. You don’t invent the answers, you reveal the answers” Jonas Salk

“He who knows all the answers has not been asked all the questions” Confucius

Why are questions so important? (Questioning skills)

What is Socratic questioning? (Questioning skills)

Don’t jump to conclusions – Coaching and Consulting skills

Promoting strategy conversations with questions

Coaching skills – the power of questions

What is curiosity and why is it important in business relationships? (Video)

Information about the delegates

Delegate aims

Develop a toolkit to build confidence with more senior partners
Expand my skills
Help fee-earners to see the value in marketing and business development
Coach to empower the team to fix their own problems (rather than me doing it)
Tackle a fairly new role with different responsibilities
Be an adviser to fee-earners (rather than just providing a service)
Influence senior stakeholders who have a fixed mindset fixed views and closed to new ideas (dealing with stubbornness)
Encourage fee-earners – from different offices at different levels of seniority – to appreciate the importance of business development
Help fee-earners listen to me (the previous marketing manager damaged trust)
Coach the team for higher performance
Work with fee-earners in a different way
Talk confidently about sensitive issues and situations

Delegate views: How have our firms, business environment and roles changed?

We’ve “corporatized” and moved away from the traditional partnership
We have private equity (PE) investment
Demands are increasing, but budgets aren’t necessarily increasing
Split between BD and Marketing/comms and the challenges that brings
Greater sales focus
The more senior you get the more strategic you become
Less doing – more educating, guiding and influencing direction
Keep up with technology – particularly AI. Coaching fee earners to embrace the changes.
AI influence
There is more to explain and it’s not always easy to back it up with data
Reporting is more important
More for less and the need to add value and demonstrate this
Reporting results and helping fee earners to understand ROI
Data driven – Having to demonstrate ROI
Much more demanding – provide reactive as well as advisory service

Delegate takeaways

Put myself in fee-earners’ position a little more (i.e. develop empathy)
Conduct even more research
Ask more questions (to build empathy and develop more insight)
Use the questions provided in meetings
Make a list of a few key tools I can use
Absorb information and ideas
Be confident – give it a go!
Raise my profile and be seen as more of a challenger
Think about how you frame questions
Review additional resources
Discuss coaching proposal with our HR team
Read the additional resources

Delegate poll results

Which sector?

67% Legal
16% Consultancy
16% Property

How would you rate your relationships with fee-earners?

16% Average
67% Good
16% Excellent

The area I most need to develop to start coaching/consulting?

34% How I am perceived
34% Knowledge (firm, markets, clients, services)

16% Relationships with fee-earners

16% Soft skills/behaviour

At what stage in the relationship can you start to coach/consult?

16% Acknowledgement
34% Understanding
34% Respect
16% Trust

What is the biggest challenge when developing relationships and helping fee-earners?

50% Fixed views/closed to new ideas/alternatives fixed views and closed to new ideas (dealing with stubbornness)
50% Their lack of time

Which area of the coaching process presents the BIGGEST challenge for M&BD?

16% Manage expectations
34% Identify challenges, vision and goals
16% Agree short and medium term goals
34% Ensure that there is motivation and ability to undertake the chosen activities

Which do you think is the most important coaching skill?

100% Questions and listening

How would you assess psychological safety at your firm?

16% Excellent
34% Good
50% OK

Which consulting skill do you most need to develop?

16% EQ/Emotional Intelligence An introduction to emotional intelligence (EQ) and empathy (Video)
50% Communication, influence and persuasion Buy in – Influence and Persuasion Toolbox – Kim Tasso
34% Creativity and generating solutions Using creativity to turn problems into opportunities in client service

Which part of the consulting process do you think will be most challenging

16% Entry
68% Intervention
16% Implementation

When presenting ideas and solutions, which is the biggest challenge?

34% Achieving consensus/buy in
16% Managing disagreement between partners/teams
34% Managing involvement/impact

Resist the temptation to always provide an instant answer

Coaching – Help others to find their own solutions

Consulting – Facilitate discussions to reveal complexity and perspective