Confidence – Does it increase as we get older and wiser?

July 13, 2026|Accountants, Kim's Blog, Lawyers, Management Skills|

At the recent MBL session on “Boost Your Confidence at Work – A toolbox for professionals” we explored confidence in the workplace. Both what affects how we feel inside (self-confidence) and what we convey to others (confidence). Nearly 20 delegates joined us, predominantly from law firms across the country, but also some from accountancy, financial services and corporate organisations. Some were at associate level and others were trainees, several were in support functions (e.g. human resources, learning and development, accounts). A key question was whether confidence increases with age and experience. As a psychotherapist, I have many clients who experience Imposter Syndrome and feel low when their inner critic beats them down. Confidence – Does it increase as we get older and wiser?

Does confidence increase with age?

Many think that as we get older – and more experienced – we get wiser. That as we age we will feel more confident. There were a few experienced people at this session who felt disappointed that they still lack confidence and even felt anxious at times. However, they were reassured that feelings of low confidence and Imposter Syndrome are common – even for very experienced and mature people.

What does the research say about confidence increasing with age?

In June 2019, Regain your confidence – Harvard Health reported:

A person’s level of confidence and self-esteem typically follows a bell curve (the bell curve of confidence). It gradually rises during the late teen years, peaks during middle age, and tends to decline after age 60, according to a 2010 study of people aged 25 to 104 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Tips to improve confidence:
- Look good. When you look good, you feel good, so take pride in your appearance
- Learn something. Activities like learning to paint or play an instrument, studying a foreign language, or taking dance lessons or writing classes help tap into the natural desire to learn and master a new skill
- Challenge yourself physically. Find a physical challenge that you can realistically complete, create a plan of execution, and then work to meet that goal
- Stay connected. It’s not as easy to venture out and interact with people as you age, and this is even harder when you feel less confident. Yet studies show that personal connections help reduce the risks for depression and anxiety often associated with feelings of low self-esteem.

In February 2024, this article Study Reveals Peak Happiness and Self-Confidence Age says

“Research shows that the older you get, the more self-assured and content you are. In fact, those in their 60s are more likely to be happier and, according to a recent study, they’re also more self-confident overall than most of those in their younger decades”.

Older people have better mental health – in a 2016 study, researchers surveyed more than 1,500 people of all different ages on their physical, cognitive and mental health. They found that those in their 20s and 30s reported the highest levels of depression, anxiety and stress and lower levels of happiness compared with those in older decades

Your life is likely more stable the older you get – A 2018 paper published in the journal Psychology Bulletin found that self-confidence peaks around age 60

When you’re older, happiness means being content with what you have

Your brain might be wired for fewer negative emotional responses as you age – Brain imaging research published in 2004 found that older individuals displayed reduced activity in their amygdala, the area of the brain associated with stress and emotional responses, when they were shown negative images

When it comes to happiness, a lot of research that’s been conducted over time suggests that it generally follows a U-shaped curve, meaning that happiness is at a high when you’re in your 20s, before it dips in middle age and then shoots back up again in your late 60s.

Some other articles about confidence in later life:

The U-shape curve of confidence

During the session, we considered the Dunning-Kruger effect. The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias where people with limited knowledge or competence in a specific domain overestimate their own skills. So there is typically overconfidence in low performers and underestimation by experts because they understand how complex a subject is, they assume that others find the tasks just as difficult.

This suggests that we have high confidence when we start – then we decline into a “valley of despair” during the middle years – before growing in confidence again as we mature.

Dunning-Kruger Effect | Psychology Today United Kingdom

And let’s be honest, the current business climate is worrying. Global wars. The huge number of young people without work. The cost-of-living crisis. Increasing levels of mental illness. The constant media noise that artificial intelligence will take everyone’s jobs. It’s hardly conducive to us feeling safe, secure and confident!

Reframe your confidence in later years

If we are not stepping out of our comfort zone and learning new things then we aren’t developing. If we don’t tackle new things, then we aren’t pushing ourselves to evolve and reach our full potential.

We need a growth mindset. And growth means change. And change – for all humans – is uncertain and scary. So your confidence naturally dips during change.

Try to look at things differently. As we spend longer in a career and gain more experience under our belt we are likely to take on more complex and difficult tasks. So we might still feel a lack of confidence when faced with a new and challenging task that is intrinsically more challenging.

Furthermore, although professional services is an environment where there’s a cultural distaste for mistakes – we learn by mistakes. To excel at something we have to try new things and practice – and this may involve some small failures along the way. So it’s not surprising that we may fear failure.

Our internal critics can contribute too. You may have a harsh internal voice that says “Come on, you have 15 years’ experience – you should be able to tackle this without lacking confidence”. That internal voice may also say “Consider what others may think – you’ve been in this role for 15 years – how will they react if you are seen to struggle or fail?”. The threat of loss of reputation and feelings of shame. That really isn’t a helpful internal dialogue. You need a kinder internal voice – an internal coach.

Bolster your self-esteem and challenge your Imposter Syndrome

Several delegates mentioned that they had low self-esteem and they felt dominated at times by feelings of Imposter Syndrome. Some adopted a “fake it til you make it” approach.

We considered several examples of high profile and high achieving people who also still experience Imposter Syndrome. And I shared examples (without breaching confidentiality) from coaching and therapy clients who were business superheroes (extraordinary financial results, growing great businesses and being admired by their peers and employees alike) who STILL sometimes lack confidence at relatively simple tasks like chairing a meeting or making a presentation.

So do an audit of all your strengths and achievements. Write them down – with examples and evidence. Note down all the times you overcame a significant challenge or obstacle. Record what happened and what you did and the ultimate outcome. Remind yourself of just how much you have achieved. And just how good you are. And refer to that note whenever you feel your confidence waning or anxiety growing.

Change your internal conversation from “Why am I lacking confidence in tackling this task?” to “Hey – I’m feeling some tension about tackling this task which shows that I am still learning and growing”.

Resources to help with self-esteem:

Book review – Creating self-esteem by Lynda Field March 2024

Overcoming low self-esteem – a self help guide using cognitive January 2025

If you are experiencing significant difficulties with confidence, please check out the resources on my therapy web site Tasso Talking Therapy – where emergency numbers are also provided

About the delegates

Delegate aims

Personal and professional development
Develop more self-belief
I’ve had a tough personal time over the past 12 months and have lost my confidence. Need to look after myself and get back to feeling on top of my game
I am right at the start of my career and want to start in the way that I mean to go on – with confidence
I’ve always struggled with confidence issues in the workplace particularly with imposter syndrome
Want to gain more confidence in dealing with clients
Want to gain confidence as I progress to qualification in October
I am qualifying in September so want to feel prepared
I am hoping to learn a bit more about what causes that confidence deficit
I hope to gain new techniques and professional judgement that I can bring to my day to day communication
Useful webinar as part of my PSC to gain some valuable skills in enhancing my confidence in meetings and taking ownership of work
I struggle with imposter syndrome and second guessing myself and so I’d like to gain confidence in my own ability
I feel like my confidence has dropped since moving into law, a lot of Imposter syndrome going on
I struggle with my own abilities which seems to have got worse as I’ve got older and now working alongside some very educated people
Feeling intimidated sometimes with my lack of university education
The main reason for being here today is to gain more knowledge on how to manage imposter syndrome in the workplace

Break out discussion on how to appear more confident

Maintain good posture
Use gestures (but not to the extent it would be considered fiddling)
Maintain good eye contact
Smile at people
Speak in a clear manner without rushing
Pace yourself
Prepare
Reflect back what is being discussed
Adopt right tone and pace
Consider other people
Avoid looking at yourself on screen
Talk clearly without rambling

Delegate key takeaways

At the end of the session, these were the ideas that resonated most with the delegates. Several delegates said that they felt reassured that they weren’t the only people who lacked confidence – there were many people at the session who felt the same.

(Internal) Emotional regulation tools:

Grounding techniques Grounding tools (support for emotional regulation) – Kim Tasso
Responding versus reacting Confidence – Radiators and Drains and the 90 second rule
Cognitive reframing
Recognising spotlight bias
Mindfulness exercises when feeling overwhelmed
Be mindful of internal dialogue and how you speak to yourself Building the confidence of young professionals – Four tools
Different breathing techniques that I hadn’t previously heard of

(External) Appearance and presentation tools:

Separating factual responses from irrational/emotional ones
Taking the time to stop and think first before speaking
Slowing down while speaking Be more confident – Slow down – Kim Tasso
Making sure I’m aware of my NVC Non-Verbal Communication (NVC) – the basics (Video)
Importance of non-verbal aspects
Things that I can do/convey to show confidence in meetings etc

Concepts and ideas

Personal development is not linear
The graph on confidence over time
Reframe – you said as you progress you do harder things and have more challenging tasks!

One delegate asked about standing up to “big characters”. Some material that might help:

Another delegate said that they struggled with how their accent is perceived (we noted much media debate on this topic with the future Prime Minister having a Manchurian accent)

Delegate poll results

Confidence levels

	At the start of session?	How would you like to feel at work?	At the end of the session?
1
2
3	6%
4	6%
5	35%
6	29%		14%
7	24%		50%
8		19%	14%
9		31%	21%
10		50%

How often do you experience Imposter Syndrome?

6% Never
35% Occasionally
47% Often
12% All the time

Which is the situation where you most lack confidence?

33% Presentations/public speaking
27% Conflict situations
20% Actual or virtual meetings
7% Social/conversations Book review: “Now we’re talking” by Sarah Rozenthuler
7% Day-to-day role within the team
0% Learning new things
0% Telephone calls
7% Other

Do you avoid things that make you feel nervous?

93% Sometimes
7% Never

(I mentioned that you should try not avoid the things that make you nervous. As this will usually increase your anxiety about it and make you feel more nervous Book review – Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers and Book review: The Gift of Anxiety – Harnessing the EASE method)

Are you mostly:

54% An optimist
46% A pessimist

How resilient do you think you are? Improve your resilience – tools to help you cope in difficult times (kimtasso.com)

15% Low
23% Average
46% High
15% Very high

What impact do you think clothes have on how confident you appear? (1=low, 10=high)

1
2
3
4
5 8%
6 8%
7 31%
8 8%
9 15%
10 31%

Where does most of your personal power come from? How do you make a personal impact – Make a difference (kimtasso.com)

43% Presence
14% Authority
43% Impact

Do you think you are: Assertiveness skills – getting what you want and saying “No” (kimtasso.com) and Assertiveness toolbox – Kim Tasso

62% Assertive
31% Passive
8% Passive-Aggressive
0% Aggressive

I think my boundaries are: Healthy boundaries at home and at work – how to set and maintain

31% Porous
62% Healthy
8% Rigid

Does confidence increase with age?

What does the research say about confidence increasing with age?

The U-shape curve of confidence

Reframe your confidence in later years

Bolster your self-esteem and challenge your Imposter Syndrome

About the delegates

Delegate aims

Break out discussion on how to appear more confident

Delegate key takeaways

Delegate poll results

Related articles on confidence, assertiveness and mental health

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Marketing case studies: Sponsorship, brand campaigns and podcasts

Book review: Stop letting everything affect you by Daniel Chidiac (Overthinking and anxiety)

Assertiveness and confidence – Clarity, power and incisive questions

Confidence – Does it increase as we get older and wiser?

Does confidence increase with age?

What does the research say about confidence increasing with age?

The U-shape curve of confidence

Reframe your confidence in later years

Bolster your self-esteem and challenge your Imposter Syndrome

About the delegates

Delegate aims

Break out discussion on how to appear more confident

Delegate key takeaways

Delegate poll results

Related articles on confidence, assertiveness and mental health

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